ouch

Wow, I guess things have a way of popping into perspective when you least expect it.

Next week I turn 31, yay.

Last week I found a lump in my breast. Spent a week at doctors and the hospital. Scariest thing ive ever been through.
Its a cyst, liquid not solid. THANK GOD.

I think im done complaining for awhile though. Things can always be worse. Im very thankful for my health right now :)

Wrong

Belief.
I lost myself in it. Drowned in it almost.
I am so drained. Is it like that story? The boy who
cried wolf? I guess I dont know anymore. So much is
"going" to happen. If I just "wait". Im sick of waiting.
Am I wrong? Am I selfish?
How can something grow, when the room for it
the next step, the need....god the need, is squashed.
Not once.
It seems like always.
I dont want to be upset. I cant help it. I am.
Who knows, who really knows who is at fault. Maybe its me.
Right now its me.
I will be more cautious. I promise I will. I promise.
And as long as I close off a little part of me, it wont hurt so much next time.
Right?
Back to that again.
Fuck.