What is Love

The blush in my cheeks when you touch me
the thoughts in my mind as you hold me
the ache in my heart as you leave me

I dont know if I know what love is. Scarey huh?
Kind of late in my life to be finding out, but Im up for the challenge :)
I wonder if each time its so different that you have to wonder if you ever really knew it in the first place.

Whatever it is, I think im liking the idea that it is the feeling inside of me that warms me and makes me shiver at the same time. And makes me smile and want to cry at the same time. So different each time though, whether for a year, ten years, or two months with someone. Its still love.

Confessions of a Thirty-something

Im bored, so its confession time!

Confessions:

I have faked it before.

I am not ready to quit smoking yet.

I sometimes still miss my ex.

I dont even know what an orgasm feels like so I dont know if I have had one.

I used to have "buddy" sex with my neighbor who lived downstairs from me, and sometimes go out to the bar where he works looking for him to renew that "friendship" but always come to my senses before I do something stupid.

He was the best sex ive had because we had unbelievable passion. It was insane.

I never stayed at his house, I always went home after.

He never stayed at my house, he always went home after.

The first guy I dated, I dated for 5 years.

He was rough and forced anal and really scared me.

I used to think sex was love.

I cant have sex without attachment anymore, I am too emotional of a being.

I sometimes get so emotional that I get choked up and cant even cry and it actually hurts.

I have had thoughts about having sex with another woman.

The last relationship I was in was long distance, and "safe".


Ok...enough for now.
Ill write more later.