The buzz

Tonight I got sad a bit. Cried a little. Will this go away? I just have this empty feeling, and when something good, bad, or just conversation worthy happens I want to tell him about it. But then I think, am I not supposed to? We are talking a bit now. Its a bad weekend for me. And I need him. Even if its a front for him, I need that front to get through. Its two years now. I dont know if im sad over Led, or A. Im such a mess. But im not all at the same time. Im actually feeling a bit relieved to have so much time. Time to just sit and watch television, clean my house, read a book. I miss the time with A though, I dont know, they are different sorts of enjoyment I guess. Next weekend I was asked to go to a hockey game. I so dont do hockey. What do you even wear to a hockey game? Its ice, cold, so im assuming layers and layers of clothes. I can just picture it, getting picked up and walking out with ear muffs, a thick scarf, a hat, two pairs of mittens, and a down coat. And him being in a fleece and jeans. That would be my luck :) Why am I going? Because I need to get out and do things.

As proof of how bad my year is starting, I got flowers the other day, and I was so excited to add some life to my apartment, so I put them on my desk, so pretty, lilies and daisies.... and I got home today and the cat ate half of them. Yes, munch munch ate them. I wonder if they tasted good?! I wonder if thats not good for him...damn, now im going to have to go look that up or Ill wake up every hour to make sure he is breathing.

Tomorrow is Friday, and I am not looking forward to the weekend for the first time in my life I think, haha. But I will get through this, like I do everything else im dealt. And then the rest of the year can only get better :)

Cheers!