Any which way but...

This weekend I actually got out and was able to hang out with friends and have a good time! yay! But I realized that alot of my anger has gone away, and now I just really miss A. We still talk, so its not like I miss him in that sense. I just miss being together. I am almost to the point of understanding what happened, and I feel bad for him. I dont think he knows himself enough to have someone else in his life to know. He is afraid of change I think, and afraid of trying. Maybe afraid of failure? Im not sure. He is content with his life, but I wonder if there is anything that really brings him excitement? And makes him feel exhilarated? How can you have those things if you are afraid to take chances? I dont know. I wish that I could help him spread his wings, but thats one of the other problems. He doesnt let me in when things are tough. Maybe my role in his life is to be a friend that helps him. I dont know. I still love him, and that either makes me stupid or very understanding. Who knows. I dont like to give up. Maybe thats my problem.